Helen is one of those people.

I’m not sure what happened, exactly. I was in a great mood this morning, got a lot of things checked off my ‘to-do’ list, happy and at peace with the world…at least, with the ranch family and hands. A couple of them took a walk out to the grand pasture; after an hour or so, about fifteen minutes ago, they came back in, covered in snow and cold. Now I sit, fuming at public relations. Why?

And I realized, I spark off too easily.

Whenever someone else is in a b-tchy/lousy mood, it completely rubs of on me. Caitlyn came up, banging on my door, demanding to be let in to the bathroom right away so her dog wouldn’t shake all his snow off on the hall carpet. Let’s just say she sounded like a complete b-tch at that moment, and leave it at that. In retaliation, I too began to sound like the exact same thing. Then Helen walked into our room. Of all the people in the world that I must share a bunk with, it had to be Helen. She starts in with her cheery ‘everything’s grand’ thing, which is fine, but then starts in on how I need to be more grateful, I’m callous, I stifle love, etc, etc…I tried, knowing I was already struggling with loving actions/speech at the moment, to tell her that I needed space before I did something to regret. I could almost see that gleam come into her eye. She starts telling me ‘maybe you need to be stretched’, ‘you just have to choose love’, and ‘honestly, I don’t care what you need at the moment, ’cause you need to get over yourself now’. Like I said, she knows how to push my buttons.

All of that may or may not be true, but some people need to learn to time their critique/encouragement. Give me a little room, let me work it out, and see for myself that I’m overreacting or b-tching, and I’ll be fine in a few. Lecture me on it while I’m down…and well, I don’t think anyone learns much from that or is encouraged to do/act better.

My baby has grown up quite a bit these last couple of months. We are no longer in the must-watch-the-puppy-at-all-times-to-avoid-catastrophe stage, and into the knows-the-right-thing-to-do-but-must-still-be-enforced stage. Which means I have a lot more time…and a shock collar is my new best friend; I LOVE SHOCK COLLARS!! Some might call them inhumane; I say they’re more humane than the dog getting run over by a passing truck or trampled to death by a cow. There may come a time, after some new damaging information about them is released, that I will never again use them…but for now, it helps and I don’t see a problem.

So, today; work from 8-5, during one of the breaks I ran to the grocery store. I got my dogs out three separate times (not counting this evening when I brought Sadie inside for most of the evening and a speed-bath & brush), and herded several calves out of the yard back into the pasture. I cooked a fairly nice supper (spaghetti, seasoned carrots, broccoli & cauliflower, and garlic bread), made mint-chip cookies, spent some time with Delta, and my sister…and finished the day off with a time of gathering with everyone (tonight we each just shared a few verses–mine were James 3:13 & 17 if you’re interested; I’ll even expound on that if you leave me a comment to that effect). Fairly profitable day as far as I’m concerned.

But it’s not just me. These guys have been steadily gathering steam, and fans, everytime they turn around. Why? What is just so appealing about Celtic Thunder?
I guess it’s ’cause they have a message  that people want to hear. Because they offer hope of escape-at least temporarily. And maybe some (such as myself) have fallen in love with these guys’ awesome Irish (and the Scot’s) accents! Maybe it’s the fact that PBS decided to air their show beginning in June. Or because they seem like really nice guys, and in a world full of selfishness, greed, and plain mean-spirited people-we need guys like them. There are probably a variety of reasons. But I love them just the same; and their albums have been playing on repeat throughout each day of my life. Of course, the girls here all love them…the guys not so much. And I think we can guess why.

Another song that has hit my repeat list is James Morrison’s “Broken Strings”. Seems it’s hit the popular list; I don’t know what it is about this song, but it gets inside you.
And then there is K-Ci and JoJo’s “All My Life”….heard it on the radio a week or so back and can’t get it out of my head.

“Unless we love and are loved, each of us is alone, each of us is deeply lonely.”
Mortimer Adler

My heart echoes this thought, knowing the truth of what Adler says.

When I concentrate my thoughts and emotions on loving those around me, I am happy and fulfilled.
The thing is, we have only to concentrate on the “we love” part; for we are always loved, if we will just accept it. Christ’s love is unconditional and everlasting. We need never be lonely when faced with His love. We are lonely when we refuse to acknowledge Him, and when we deny love to those who surround us each day.

Living an existence without giving or receiving love is like being tossed on the ocean with no sail. We become lost, without direction, without hope. This song echoes my thoughts and prayers during those rough times in my life when I lose sight of love.

“HEAR OUR HYMN FROM THE HEARTLAND.
HEAR OUR PRAYER.
STEER US THROUGH STORMY WATERS
LEAD US THERE………….”

” WHEN THE WINDS ARE HOWLING
VIGIL KEEP
SHELTER US AND SAVE US FROM THE DEEP.

A THIARNA DEAN TROCAIRE (Irish Galic translated “Lord have Mercy”)
A CHRIOST DEAN TROCAIRE (Irish Galic translated “Christ have Mercy”)
A THIARNA DEAN TROCAIRE
A CHRIOST DEAN TROCAIRE.

WHEN THE STORM IS RAGING,
AND THUNDER ROLLS,
DELIVER US FROM THE OCEAN
SAVE OUR SOULS!

A THIARNA DEAN TROCAIRE…etc…

THANK YOU LORD YOU HAVE BROUGHT US SAFE TO SHORE
BE OUR STRENGTH AND PROTECTION EVERMORE.

A THIARNA DEAN TROCAIRE (Lord Have Mercy)
A CHRIOST DEAN TROCAIRE (Christ Have Mercy)
A THIARNE DEAN TROCAIRE (Lord Have Mercy)
A CHRIOST DEAN TROCAIRE (Christ Have Mercy)

DEAN TROCAIRE (Have Mercy)
DEAN TROCAIRE (Have Mercy)
A THIARNA (Oh Lord!)

A THIARNA DEAN TROCAIRE (Lord Have Mercy)
A CHRIOST DEAN TROCAIRE (Christ Have Mercy)
A THIARNE DEAN TROCAIRE (Lord Have Mercy)
A CHRIOST DEAN TROCAIRE (Christ Have Mercy)”

“I just can’t believe your gone, still waiting for morning to come; when I see if the sun will rise…where we had so much in store, tell me what is it all reaching for.
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made. They can take the music that we’ll never play;
All the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away; but they can never have yesterday.
They can take the future that we’ll never know. They can take the places that we said we will go;
All the broken dreams take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday…
You always chose to stay, I should be thankful for everyday. Heaven knows what the future holds;
Or least where the story goes; I never believed until now.”

This song has been playing through my head…is this my life? Is my life lived in yesterday? I am determined that it will not be so…and yet, I keep going back. I don’t want to be one of those who live only for and in the past. I want to live for today. For the choices made in my life; to accept the new challenges that come my way. Brooding in the past has never helped anyone. And it won’t help me.

I have been reading Jane’s “Persuasion”…and at this point, it fills me with such longing and sadness. I see myself in Anne…though she is better than I am. That longing to just be loved by those close….and the knowledge that something perfect is passed by. But Anne has something I never will. She has the opportunity to see Wentworth again; to meet him, and the opportunity for him, once more, to fall in love with her. Perhaps even I have something she does not…though sometimes I find difficulty with my family…at least I know that I am important to/loved by them; even if they are often distracted from that fact. So it seems that Anne and I both hold the opportunity for more. She has one, I the other. Personally, right now at this moment, I wish I had hers. And knowing the end of the book as I do (how often have I read this favorite!), I know that her hope is not without some profit and fulfilment. And yet, I am forced to acknowledge the fact that seven years passed by for Anne before she had this hope. And while in those seven years, it must have looked bleak indeed.

“A few months had seen the beginning and the end of their acquaintance; but, not with a few months ended Anne’s share of suffering from it. Her attachment and regrets had, for a long time, clouded every enjoyment of youth; and an early loss of bloom and spirits had been their lasting effect.”

How can I continue to feel sorry for myself when faced with a picture of such fortitude? Even if her bloom and spirits were gone, Anne’s grace remained. May I grow to be like her.

“I find, on looking into my affairs, that instead of being very rich I am likely to be very poor…It is as well…to prepare you for the sight of a sister sunk in poverty, that it may not overcome your spirits.”
Jane, in a letter to her sister, Cassandra.

Hope to inspire….what does it mean? Well you may ask. This blog and it’s title are born of many things; hope not the least. Hope that someday, I won’t echo Janes’ thought above with truth. Hope that a brighter day lies waiting tomorrow. Hope…faith, and those things unseen. Hope in Christ, that He is faithful. Hope that…well, that’s a story for another day. One of these, I may share it with you.
But that is my life right now. Hope. Inspiration. Thoughts, dreams, goals, even irritations. Those things that make us human: fear, sorrow, joy, pain, love, faith…and hope.

I’m starting a new journey; one that I invite you to share with me. Are you willing to ride with me, to risk comfort for what may come? Honestly, you’ll still be doing it in relative comfort, from that of your office chair…but still.
My thoughts I lay open…my dreams…even my heart. Tread light upon them.

But, as Jane  says

“Those who tell their own story must be listened to with caution….[for] seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not disguised, or a little mistaken.”
From Sanditon and Emma

Jane was incredibly wise….I hope to learn from her example. As you would be well to do. Sift what you hear…think on it, determining the truth in it…and then, only then, may I hope to inspire you.